As a teenager, I was chronically underachieving. I lacked motivation completely and made no effort at being a successful student. At the time, I thought I was not smart enough to succeed and that is why I could not do my schoolwork. What I did not know at the time was that I was suffering from depression. I spent so much time hating myself for not trying to be a good student, I tore my self-esteem down to almost nothing. Lacking the knowledge and motivation to seek help, my GPA dropped down to a 1.0 my freshman year of high school.

My sophomore year I transferred to a different school. The fresh start gave me just enough motivation to make an attempt at changing my bad habits and working hard. Through exercise, school counseling, and a new-found love of learning, I formed a plan to keep myself from falling prey to depression and started succeeding. I joined academic clubs, took AP classes, and joined the workforce. By working hard, I succeeded in everything I did and took pride in my accomplishments. I ended up going to college a year early and graduating high school with honors. 

But my failure to succeed in my younger years left me with an insatiable desire to prove myself. I always felt like my achievements weren’t as big a deal as everyone made them out to be, and I sought out ways to push myself beyond what the average student can do. Despite all the leadership positions I took on, nothing ever felt like enough. To be completely honest, I did not even think I was worthy of being in the honors program. But when I saw it, I knew I had to try.

I believe that the honors program will give me the opportunities to succeed that I crave, but it will force me to really think about why I am doing it. I know I am a good leader and student, but I lack the ability to reflect on what I’ve done. I joined the honors program so I can learn how to get more than a feeling of accomplishment out of my experiences. I want to learn how to take everything I can from every experience life throws at me, good or bad. 

I’m also not the best researcher. I am not entirely sure if that is a fact, or if it’s an insecurity. I’ve scored very well on my research papers in the past, but I’ve always felt that those papers didn’t reflect what I could really write. I’ve never liked doing research, but I want to grow to like it. Being a good researcher is an important skill to have. If I can’t grow to like it, at the very least I want to learn how to be confident in my research and finish every project in full. 

Lastly, my life has really lacked diversity. I come from a town where everyone goes to the same church, identifies as cis and straight, and shares the same or similar race and culture. I understand how important diversity is, and I want to meet people of different cultures, sexualities, and religions. I think it is essential to my college experience.

In conclusion, I believe the honors program will give me the opportunity to become the best version of myself. I think it will set me up for success in my future careers, relationships, and educational opportunities. The honors program will give me the resources I need to learn how to reflect on every experience I have and will allow me to have experiences that are beneficial to me as a growing person. I am absolutely thrilled and honored to be a part of this program. I’m excited to see what all it pushes me to do.